I'm not even sure what style I'm going to keep these posts-narrative? candid snippets? point form? I just know I want to document some of it, and not be worried about how funny or interesting it is. I want it to be honest first and foremost. There might be a lot of run-on sentences, TMI, and verbal diarrhea (as one English teacher used to say), but give me all the words and all the feelings. I want my kids (and grandkids) to know.
Day 0 (Sunday)
They made the announcement schools were closing. They had vaguely mentioned it as a future event, but said it would likely be for the rest of the school year if that happened. I wasn't concerned-figured we had a few more weeks before we got to that point. Didn't have time to process the revelation, because we had a few people for dinner. After they left the full force of having to homeschool my kids, losing my time with the little girls and for myself, balancing work life as an RN, keeping up with housework and errands came crashing down with an overwhelming force. The weight of being everyone and everything to my kids seemed like it would drown me. The thoughts of my kids not seeing their friends or teachers, of teachers not seeing their students, of the upheaval this was going to create in their lives hurt my heart. And there I was vacuuming the carpet, when the dam of emotions I was holding back burst, and I cried. Oh man I cried for me, for my kids, for the teachers, for our world. Then the barrage of facebook posts with resources, free educational websites, and don't worry just relax with your kids they'll be fine, no just kidding keep them in a routine blah blah blah. It was just too much. The line that kept coming to my mind was "There is peace in Christ." over and over and over again. I poured out in prayer. Another wave of tears. I lay awake sleepless in bed, thinking of tomorrow. My best friend texted me to check in. Chatting with her for those few minutes helped settle me, reminding me that I wasn't alone.
Day 1 (Monday)
Isaac thought he was going to get a 5 month vacation. He got pretty mad when he found out mom was the new teacher. Mia didn't really understand that she probably wasn't going back to school anytime soon. But she seemed to like me being her teacher. Anytime I tried to do anything academic, there was pushback from Isaac. Lots of fighting, and more tears. I tweaked our schedule here and there. Devon was here, and I was thankful for the company. Managed to run for 45 minutes while the kids had "academic screen time". It was Gordon's birthday, but my mind was elsewhere as I thought about the next "school" day and how to make it better. Felt guilty about that for the rest of the night.
Enjoyed reading with the kids in the morning. Anytime anything involves writing Isaac resists and avoids. It's something he needs to work on though, so I'm not letting him take a 5 month hiatus. No matter how fun I tried to make it today, he was dragging his heels. Scarlett and B have mostly been playing on their own, mostly happily. Feel guilty they haven't been getting as much attention. Mia loves writing and worksheet type stuff, so at least one kid is happy. We did a science experiment with water and temperature today. Isaac and Mia enjoyed collecting "specimens" and looking at "molecules" in Isaac's microscope. Included 30 mins to tidy up/do chores after lunch. Hoping it helps me to not feel so behind on the housework.
Day 3 (Wednesday)
Found a website that reads fairytales in French slowly to the kids, so at least we can expand our French literacy. Played simplified bananagrams with Isaac for English. The words virus, quarantine, and insanity might have been part of my list... For science Isaac played minecraft for "academic screen time" and he showed me the elevator he was engineering and water he was sourcing to his "city". I'm getting tired from the constant teasing and bickering going on between the older two. I am exhausted by the end of the day, and need like 9 hours of sleep a night, vs my regular 6 or 7.
Day 4 (Thursday)
Older kids did pastel art project in the morning. Isaac made me a picture that said mom, and Mia made Isaac a picture. Isaac and I played a math game with rook cards, and he beat me. He does so well with learning where he has to ability to have some freedom to make his own rules. This is why he hates worksheets- it's like paper that tells him what to do. But I have him do one or two a day anyway, because he needs the practice. I picked up the kids school work and belongings today. That was hard. Tried not to cry. Tried not to cry more when I got home and Mia asked me why I had her school things. I had tried to gently explain to her every day that we had to stay home to try and protect ourselves and others from new germs, but I think today it finally sunk in that kindergarten as she knew it was done for a while. Failed at trying not to cry, but went to the kitchen to compose myself. Isaac went to spend some time at Auntie Devon's and Uncle Alex's. Sorted through all the stacks of papers and pulled out reusable worksheets. Felt the pain of teachers who had expected to see their kids again Monday, as I stared at unfinished projects. Picked up from 7-11 at work. Felt like a holiday.
Let the kids stay in PJs until lunch (they had been having to get dressed by 9am each day). I let Isaac learn Japanese on duolingo for a bit. A full out Nishlet gang war started after lunch. No one was helping me clean up, and I was done. I yelled at everyone to be quiet and go to their rooms. I went downstairs to stress vacuum. Everyone was obediently having quiet time when I came upstairs. I apologized for yelling, and they helped me to tidy up. Do I really have to do this for 12 more weeks??
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