3 months young!

First off, I'm in shock that I have time to write more than one post a week. Isaac is having his second 30min+ nap in two days! Normally his cycle is 2 hours awake, 30 minute cat nap and repeat until bed. Pretty much like clockwork. The absence of long naps makes it's difficult to be productive because I only have time to do one or two...usually one and a half... things before he wakes up again. But yesterday he took a 3.5 hour nap and today we're up to 2.5 hours so far! It's amazing how much more I can accomplish when he sleeps for more than half an hour. I've done laundry, dishes, SHOWERED, ate lunch, prepped for dinner, sent some needed emails and even relaxed a little.
Isaac was 3 months young yesterday. He has finally got over his bronchiolitis (I ended up taking him to the drs after a week of coughing fits and this was the diagnosis), but not before sharing with mum and dad. We spent lots of last week cuddling, napping, booger sucking, and being cranky. Being sick is about ten times more exhausting as a parent. The biggest blessing was that he slept through the night, pretty much every night. He goes down at about 830 and then sometimes wakes up half an hour or an hour late to eat a little bit more. I don't know why since he usually eats right before bed and he doesn't do it every night, but 2 or 3 times a week he wants a little bedtime snack. Then he has been sleeping until about 630 or so. Once in a while he will want to eat between 430 and 5 and then he'll usually sleep until 730 or later. So as much as I wish he's sleeping wasn't so sparse during the day, I'm sure glad he sleeps at night.
He's starting to grab things with an open hand instead of sandwiching things between his fists and trying to chew on them. He's a pretty avid rattle shaker and has conked himself a few times with it, not to mention flinging it across the room.
He has also giggled twice so far. Once when I was drying under his many chins and then other when I was drying under his arms. Guess we've got a ticklish boy on our hands. Just like his dada.
The latest milestone for Isaac has been his first roll from tummy to back yesterday at exactly 3 months! The day before during tummy time it was obvious that he was concentrating really hard on moving himself. He would rock back and forth on his tummy but couldn't quite figure out what to do with his arms. You could almost see his baby brain trying to figure out how to get himself over. Then yesterday morning, it was his first tummy time of the day and then bam he was on his back. I started yelling "He did it! He did it!". I think Gordon thought something was wrong because I may or may not have been a little hysterical. I was sure he wouldn't do it again for Gordon but he did and then a third (which I video taped), fourth and fifth time! You could tell he knew he had done something good because he kept on smiling away while we were clapping and glowing with parental pride. Now he's decided that rolling his beneath him and that he no longer needs to prove himself to us because he has refused to roll since then haha. He just throws a tantrum when he can't figure it out and face plants into the carpet and cries/screams...which is also fairly entertaining. Unfortunately for him now that he's done it once (or 5 times..), we'll be giving him more tummy time, trying to get him to do it again. Sorry son! It's for your own good.

On being a mother

The other night, it was just Isaac and I. I had just finished nursing him to sleep and was holding him in my arms, staring at his chubby little legs and thinking about how much I loved him and how grateful I was to be his mum. Then I thought back to that first week with him and how far I had come as a mother since then. With the exception of the first 24 hours after he was born, the first week of motherhood was the hardest week of my life. There I was sleep-deprived, excessively emotional, my body feeling like it had been used and abused in every way possible by this little life that I had just given birth to. As if being my little human leech for 9 months wasn't enough. Now I had to continue to sacrifice my body, now much worse for wear, for this person I had created. What was more, he didn't even seem to appreciate it! All he would do was scream at me unless he was blissfully asleep or attached to me, and even getting him attached to me was a fight that took every ounce of energy I possessed. I didn't know what I expected from motherhood, but this was certainly FAR from it.
Emotionally, I was the Titanic...after the iceberg. An absolute and incomprehensible mess, trying to stay above water. I loved my son. That was never questionable. But why wasn't I feeling those motherly feelings of joy and awe and wonder? Why didn't I want to spend every waking moment with him? Why was I lacking the experience I had heard described by countless new mothers? Why did my adorable son have such an unadorable temperament? I know now that part of the answer was that he wasn't eating properly. But at the time, I had no idea that this might be the case. It left me feeling very ill-equipped in the motherhood department, and in a way I didn't feel like he was my baby. I half-thought my mom was going to take him home with her, since she seemed to be doing most of the mothering to both of us. I thanked Heavenly Father in tears most of those nights for her and pleaded with him to help me know how to meet my son's needs.
I thought that all of this made me a "bad" mother. That I wasn't worthy of my son and that I obviously wasn't ready for something I thought I was very prepared for. I know now that that's not the case. I just happened to be blessed, and yes I honestly believe it's a blessing, with a child that is stubborn, active, and has a bit (or a BIT) of a temper. I was blessed with a baby like me. I believe this was so I could understand myself better, and so that I could understand him better. My son and I had to work for our bond, day by day, moment by moment. It was something that was built through successful latches after 10 minutes of trying, nap-time cuddles, and first-time smiles. It's something that many mothers are blessed with instantly, but not me. Although I am at times envious of this, I know that there are many out there like me who question themselves as women because all of those moments they've seen, heard, read and dreamed about their whole lives don't happen in the first few days with their newborn. But it is ok. We all have a loving Saviour who descended below all things so that he could help us to bear our burdens and overcome our weaknesses. He understands our failing, fears, and follies. He loves us and our children. He believes in us and our ability to be mothers. Those precious moments of tender love with our babies will come. Some immediately, some need to be earned and some take all our strength to achieve. But they will come. I am not a bad mother because I've had these feelings. I'm believe I'm a great mother because despite those feelings, I continued to fight for the joy that I knew could be mine if I just had faith.
Being Isaac's mother brings me joy every day. Our days are not always without their challenges, but they are never without their rewards.

Mr Cough comes to play.

Well we've officially reached a milestone at 12 weeks that I would have preferred to be late reaching: first cold. Bleh. It started off Thursday night with a bit of a cough. By Friday afternoon, poor boy kept having his naps interrupted by coughing fits and crying... the more he'd cough the more he would cry and then the more he would cough. And on and on we went in a never ending cycle of crappiness. By early Friday afternoon he was pretty much inconsolable unless I was walking around with him bouncing up and down so I finally decided to give him a bath. Finally we had a reprieve...until the bath ended, then it was a full-blown cry fest.  One dose of tylenol later, I got him calm enough to nurse and then he feel asleep in my arms for four hours and I didn't dare put him down. I didn't mind cuddling with him though....not gonna lie. As much as I hated him being sick, he was so cuddly, which he rarely is. I "slept" with him in his room for the first time since he was a week or two old. I use the word sleep lightly since I did more listening to him cough and squirm around than anything. He "slept" or at least stayed in his crib. Saturday was much the same and today we're looking a little better. Something must be going around since there were at least 2 or 3 other babies in sacrament all coughing. Cue the germaphobe mum running around with lysol and baby-safe antibacterial wipes, cleaning everything he touches and sanitizing my hands every 5 minutes.
Other than that nothing really eventful has happened around here. He's getting bigger and bigger all the time and has more than one chin to show for it! We have to be careful about keeping the "folds" under his two...or three....chins dry because he started getting a rash from the moisture. Hah! Nothing a little diaper cream couldn't clear up (in case this unfortunate situation of triple chin rash happens to you!).
He's got plenty of new sounds he's trying out: angry, happy, excited, tired, sad... The excited sound also comes complete with his tongue sticking out and his nostrils flared.
He hates tummy time this week and likes to put his thumb in his mouth and gnaw on it when he force him to do it.
He's becoming more and more attached to me which may or may not be a good thing... I'm not sure what brought it on since he's really not all that fond of being held or packed around, so I don't. When he's on the floor or in his swing now he likes to see me so I just pack that around instead. I usually eat breakfast and lunch on the floor with him if he's awake, just so I can have a meal in peace and quiet, without him fussing.
Some days he goes the whole time without a long nap (defined as longer than 30 minutes). He'll just cat nap every 2 hours or so. That's not even enough time for me to nap, so I cram as much as possible into that 30 minutes. It can make for an exhausting day, but as long as he keeps sleeping at night, I'll take it. Now if only I could train myself to not wake up after 5 or 6 hours wondering when he's going to wake up, that would be perfect.

My new favorite dessert!

I've missed cooking since Isaac's been born. I probably didn't really cook anything from scratch until we got back from Christmas this month. I got a few new cookbooks that I was excited to dive into, so I started making a weekly meal plan that I could follow with new recipes to try. Monday I made a fruit cobbler for family home evening dessert from "The Food Nanny Rescues Dinner" and it was so quick, easy, and used ingredients I have on hand all the time! It was so good (and versatile!) that I couldn't not share it. I will definitely be making it again, and is a great dessert for when company's coming and you don't have a lot of time!

"Surprise Fruit Cobbler"
Ingredients
1/2 cup butter
1 cup flour
1 cup granulated sugar
2 tsp baking powder
3/4 milk
3 1/2 cups of fresh or canned fruit ( I used a whole large jar of canned peaches and it was delicious! I'll try apples next time for Gordon)
1/2 cup firmly packed brown sugar
ground cinnamon

1. Preheat oven to 350F
2. Melt butter in 9x9 baking dish in the oven
3. Combine the flour, sugar and baking powder in a medium bowl and stir in the milk. Gently pour the batter as evenly as possibly over the butter in the pan but don't stir!
4. Place the fruit evenly over the batter and top with brown sugar and cinnamon. Bake uncovered until well browned and fruit is done. 40 minutes is enough for canned fruit, you may need longer for raw fruit.
Serve warm on its own, or with ice cream or whipped cream! Just writing this recipe makes me want to make it again.

Growing pains

You're probably getting tired of my weekly posts about Isaac but honestly my life is 99% about him so I really don't have much else to blog about. He is 11 weeks today and growing so quickly...more out than up though. I think he's stocking up for his next growth spurt which should be hitting us next week sometime since he tends to go through them early. I just retired a few more sleepers, and as I looked at his growing pile of clothes he doesn't fit, I was a little sad that he was growing so quickly. As much as I look forward to him learning new things and being able to a) sleep through the night b) eat solids c) talk, I like him being little enough to cuddle with and to pack around (although he isn't a fan of that). But every day he reminds me that he is slowly but surely changing from a baby boy into a umm...bigger baby boy.

-Weighs 11lbs2oz, 22 1/4 inches long, has caught up to the 25th percentile for all his measurements and is in the 50th percentile in weight-for-length
-Immunizations: Isaac had his 2 month shots on Tuesday and it was way harder on me than on him I'm sure. You'd think for the amount of injections that I've given and for the very passionate belief I have about the importance of immunization that it would be a breeze for me. Needless to say once his waterworks started so did mine. He was back to smiling after a few minutes and I hardly noticed any difference in him afterwards. I was prepared for a full on grouch fest so this was a welcome surprise.
-I also discovered he has a birthmark on his right knee. It's pretty small so I never noticed it before but it is definitely there.
-His hair is about half an inch long and fuzzy
-His nails grow like weeds
-He can hold his head and chest up for 1+min while on his tummy. I know this doesn't sound impressive but considering last week it was only 10+ seconds and his chest was barely off the floor, I'm impressed.
-He has one good 3-4 hour nap a day in the early afternoon and the rest of his naps are 30-40 min cat naps after 2-3 hours of being awake. He sleeps about 9-10 hours a night, waking up once to eat.
-He likes to sit in his swing when I workout and stare at me. He just likes to stare period.
-Will put himself back to sleep if he's not ready to wake up and will put himself to sleep if he's full and tired. Just put him in his crib, turn the sleep sheep on, and usually he'll go to sleep on his own.
-Sucks on his hands to self soothe but refuses a soother.
-Always gives the best smiles when you come to get him from his crib.
-Does a half laugh that sounds like "heh-heh, heh-heh"
-Loves when you raise your eyebrows at him.
-If he's nursing and Gordon comes by and talks to me, he pops his head up like a little gopher and his eyes dart all around looking for him.
-Is the cutest fusspot around.

10 weeks

A day late, but better than never. Isaac changes so fast that I can't really afford to miss one week of recording what happens. Already today he has done new things that he has never done before. I feel like my life is moving in fast forward sometimes. Don't grow up too quickly little boy!
At 10 weeks (and one day) Isaac...
-loves when people talk to him and always tries to talk back
-his favourite position is the "Buddha", facing out with his legs tucked up like a frog and his feet being held
-will sometimes hold my hand when I'm feeding him :)
-likes having his clothes and diaper changed
-is still a fan of baths
-discovered himself in the mirror
-eyes are getting lighter, I'm hoping they'll stay blue
-is full of facial expressions, especially ones that involve his tongue and eyebrows. Yesterday I raised my eyebrows at him and he did it back haha.
-tummy time has progressed from 3-5 minutes to 10 minutes
-fits into 3-6 month onesies and sleepers but 0-3 month pants are still a little big!
-likes staring at the pictures in books (I usually have to crawl under his play gym with him and read to him on the floor)
-held his rattle for a couple minutes today! He's never held it for more than 10 or 15 seconds so we're pretty proud of him haha.

We loved spending time with our families over Christmas but we our happy to be back home and get back into a routine. I'm planning on taking an Isaac staycation over the next few days since he's getting his immunizations done tomorrow. I'm hoping that means lots of cuddles in pjs.